AUTHOR BACK AGAIN XDDD yups, ditengah ke-stress-an yang melanda dan sibuknya gue yang beredar dimana-mana akhirnya nemu juga waktu buat comeback walo tetep juga siih kombeknya di selakesibukan. Yaaah biar gimana sih, utang tetep utang jadi segila apapun kerjaan gue, gue pasti akan usahakan banget untuk lunasi walau terseok-seok =___= Ahh untuk kali ini, author kembali menampilkan FF JoonTaeMinho :DD This one’s pretty much inspired by MBLAQ’s Y and the idea came right trough my brain .__.with many twists here and there… well… *cough*
Just read it, though. Hope the fail isn’t THAT obvious!!
Warning: un beta-ed so yeah meet some typos and gram errors~
++Joon’s POV ++
It’s the only one I feel running inside my vein, mixed in between my unsteady breathe and the cloudy gaze I am locked in. In this small isolated cubicle, right under the pouring water that has been soaking my bare back I’m gluing both palms on to the dark cold blue marbles before me. Heart’s thumping out loud as if it’s trying to make its way out of my ribs. Mind’s still having the unfinished race going inside the hard calcium that is my skull, ignoring the scream of annoyance from the invisible crowd heard from the sane side of me still from the same place.
Replaying over and over again,the links of voices that is. Binding themselves tightly like an invisible rope,they blend almost perfectly with the images of you I shouldn’t recall. It’s not loud; truthfully it’s coming as a faint whisper. Not demanding, just questioning.
And if only I could stop the image from repeating everytime I am awake up until I have my rest at night,which is kinda hard since they won’t let me get away that easy. Insomnia; waking up in the middle of the night to find myself suffocating as tears flowing out of the socket just because the simplest dream about you.
I am close to lose my sanity.
Memories are created to be remembered, be it bad or good.
In our case, the good ones torture me more.
The memories of you were hugging closely to my body, the moments you put your finger on my lips and gently kissed it, the times when we proudly looked at our intertwined hands together. Hearing my name came out from your sweet lips makes me lose all control ofmyself. The way your eyes squinted when you giggled to my joke just added myadoration and I knew I’ll worship you all my life. Even more, the way you looked,the way your face flushed, the small mewls from that sinful mouth when webecame one in my bed drives me crazy. That day, you promised me an eternity…
I punch the hard wall in front of me, gritting my teeth as the mixture of desire, despair, and hurt filling mejust like the other nights before. The feelings are too much but hell, I don’twish to lose them. The memories are so near, so real that I hope I could grasp them with my hand and nail them in my brain so they won’t disappear and leave me with nothing but pain.
Unfortunately, they will be gone…
because they’re never there inthe first place.
The memories are never existed,simply because I created them in my head.
All you see is him. All you touch, hugs, kiss is only him. He’s the person that owns you, heart and soul.There was never a single memory of us together, because we simply don’t have a romantic relationship from the beginning. I hug you, touch you, and feel you in my head. Just the sight of you, makes my mind wonder around and I’ll have own memory with you though it’s absurd and obviously sinful. I am creatingthe shrine under your name in my heart, my mind and even my soul. I can’t haveyou, not even the slightest chance I have. So I’m keeping you forever in my own prison: my fantasy.
I’ll never tell anyone about my secret obsession of you, Taemin because I am happy to own you for my self this way, in my world.
The place where Choi Minho couldn’t reach.
The warmth of the water soon leaving me as soon as it’s flowing down to the juncture of my neck, going south to my feet, creating the small pool around them.
Just like my sanity, it vanishes bit by bit… though the fantasies about you stay still.
++ 3rd person’sPOV ++
“Hyung, what does the Y letter means? You seem like always write it on your notebook. No, you HAVE towrite it every single day on these pages! Is this Y person your girlfriend orsomething?” jokes Taemin and points the said letter on the lined white paper.
Joon flashes out his trademark smile and stares deeply at the younger boy.
“It’s nothing, Taemin ah,” he states, “Just an adoration, that’s it.”
Y stands for Yearning…
and I yearn for you…
This Fic could also be found in Enma D’mightyhyunsaferism’s FB