[FF/ Oneshot/ Yaoi/ PG 13] Cry Me a River {Onkey couple}

A/N:
Written in the middle of my “supposedly” hectic hours on office. Ini semua gara-gara allkpop yg doyan bener ngasi gosip gaje =___= sebenernya aq sih biasa aja pas dgr itu gosip “jalan bersama”nya Key Nicole, cuma jujur aja mood aq emang jadi turun banget buat lanjutin spin-off The Name I Loved dan OMG… dan jadilah oneshot ini. Sebelumnya aq mau bilang bahwa aq ga bermaksud untuk bash siapapun di sini. I just have to use the related artist to add some “spices” to the story, after all this one was inspired by that darn gossip. Hope u understand and well, happy reading (this was written from Jinki’s POV btw). The scene on the story was inspired by Justin Timberlake’s song “Cry Me a River”.
warning: un-beta-ed so beware of typos and grammatical error

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Love was something beautiful to me, yes it was. It used to cradle me in its wide loving arms, caresses me with the words as gentle as the heaven’s touch. I was happy and blessed just by hearing its voice, calling my name sultrily as the thin string of melodious tone sneakily slip into my earlobe and stays in every strand of my nerves. Indeed, it was wonderful.

But not anymore…
The same love I used to know has become the treacherous angel of death that slashes his broad sword across my weak heart. He, the same creature who made me fall for his grace has turns away, throwing away what we already had and what we should have. People said that love has its double eyed sword hidden behind its alluring wings that will stab us deeply if we fail to acknowledge the presence… and I know precisely how it hurts. Love is no longer beautiful; it’s stained, torn… and it only means one thing: betray.
Even so, it’s strange enough that I still can feel the same addiction that has contaminated me for years lingers as the blood rushes trough my veins everytime I inhale the open air. Probably that’s why I’m standing in front of your house under the gloomy sky today.

The first drop of water lands on my cheek and runs smoothly downward, just like the tears I shed in my sleepless nights after you left… so much, so much til my eyes gone dry and it gives me pain everytime I try to blink. But is it also why I couldn’t even throw my gaze away and closed my eyes when I saw you and her walking side by side a week ago? My eyes were hurt, but my heart was destroyed. Another droplet of the rain stains the hood of my black jacket and the others hitting my shoulders gently. I swing my feet, feeling them multiple times heavier as I approach the cream door. It’s locked but in less than a minute I’m able to find the spare key (under the welcome rug, right in the middle of it, just like you told me when we were together) and goes soundlessly inside.

It’s warm and cozy, suits your outgoing self though the lights are off and rains start to pour heavily outside. The house is probably not the best in town, but everything about it is just so you; even I can smell the faint smell of your scent, lingering between the strong earthy scent delivered by the rain. I walk past the living room and coincidently letting my gaze falls on those silver frames that are neatly put beside the phone. That very second, I know I’m now nothing in your eyes; not even a single memory. There’s no longer me beside you at those freshly taken photographs; it’s just her… do you know how much I want to burn those glossy pieces of paper to wipe that happy smile off your beautiful face?

Clank… clank… clank…
I turn around as the sound catch my ears and it immediately brings me face to face with one of your favorite corner; the kitchen. The sound, which belongs to the lazy drops of water from the tab as they hit the metallic sink, is somehow inviting me to come closer to the certain area. I feel the stinging sensation in my heart comes back as my mind plays its trick once again on me. I can see us together; laughing and kissing once in while. You have that adorable pout on your face when I tease you in the middle of your cooking activity… and I smile, something that I thought I’ll never able to do again. Everything seems so real, tough the image is gone unnoticed in a blink of eyes… and I’m alone again.

Visiting your room is just another torture for me. By the first seconds I turn the knob and walk in, my hatred for her just has to grow up to the stage where I wish I could rip her face off her skull for making the room seems ungraceful and too cheap for someone like you. It’s not your style, it’s hers and I can’t stop myself from wondering why did you let her taste gets in to you? What have you done with her in this room? Do you still think of every little thing we do when you kiss her, hug her… and probably make love to her? The solid muscles in my body tighten as I clench my fist, breath’s becoming uneven. My mind keeps telling me that you’re still mine and no one should touch you but me, not that bitch or any other person… and my heart believes that. You are mine forever; even when forever meets its end already.

Rustles and muffles of laughs outside the cold room pulls me back and I’m more than happy to hear your sweet voice rings troughout the house seconds later. I take a peek trough the small-opened door and I see you. How I wish that time could stop ticking at that moment, at a time when I finally see that sinfully addictive face of yours, those thin but plump lips, those captivating cat-eyes that I miss with all my heart. The face that I always wanted to hate but ends up loving it even more each and everyday is there, just a few steps away from my hiding place.
“Kibum…” I whisper your name, unconsciously stretching my hand as if to reach you and embrace your slim figure without the will to let go… then I see her.

Only God could tell me where I get the strength to stand there, staying at my place stiffly with eyes staring blankly at the sickening sight before me. You rip my heart away and leave me dying when you wrap your arms around her waist and pulls her closer. The way you look at her and beam that loving smile makes my beating organ shattered to pieces, flooded with blood and tears of despair and pain. However, nothing kills me more than the next thing happen right in front of my darken eyes… I’m dead by the time you lay your lips on her.

I can’t breathe; no matter how wide I open my mouth and inviting the air to come in, nothing passes my throat and I’m suffocating in my place. It’s hurt; it’s so damn hurt in my chest that I just wish someone can kill me to release me from this pain. I want you to open your eyes and look at me, but hell you’re too busy with your own rendezvous with her, WITH HER! And you don’t even know I’m here…
“S…Stop…” I hear myself whisper pleadingly. Please Kibum, can’t you feel my presence?

I clutch the thick fabric of my jacket when I feel the world turns million times faster and suddenly the images around me is gradually changing to the absurd lines of colours, slowly becoming a blurry sight as our memories play themselves in my head like an old movie. I lift my hands and squeeze my hair, letting my knees prop my body on the floor, eyes closed tightly as I hear the disgusting sounds coming from you and her… I don’t want to do it, I don’t want to! I’d rather kill myself to stop this suffering than to dragging you along with me… I love you too much.

That’s when I hear she moans… and I know there’s only one choice I have to take.

I stand up, pushing the door wide open as the thing creates a soft wrecking sound. I watch coldly as your now opened eyes widen and you have to end your kissing frenzy with that bitch.
“Ji, Jinki! Wh… How do you get in?! What are you doing here?!”
I want to cry when I feel that my presence is nothing but a disturbance for you, and at the same time I want to laugh seeing your pale faces, just like an affair couple get caught in their sinful act. But I just stand there; too devastated to neither laugh nor cry. I slip my hand inside the front pocket of my jacket and take the heavy black thing out. Your beautiful eyes widen and the very audible frightened gasp comes from her mouth as I lift my hand slowly, revealing the tough and threatening hand gun pointed directly at their direction.

“Jinki, put the gun down… please… We can talk about this, alright?” you whisper, and I feel my heart scatters when I see your arms protectively secured around her shaking figure. You plead for her, but you didn’t hear my pleading just now. Have I really been erased and forgotten by you? Tell me now; have I really lost your entire love that I had once? My world revolves around you and only you, so how am I supposed to live my life when you’ve been taken away from me?

A tear escapes my eye.
“No, we can’t…” I whisper back and tighten the grip on the killing machine in my hand “Kim Kibum, you belong with me forever… and if I can’t have you, then nobody can… not her, not even anyone else.”
I send him one last look before my hoarse voice lets out the last words,
“Saranghae…”
and I pull the trigger.

(choose ending #1 or #2, or even both ending XDD)

ENDING #1 – 3RD’S POV

The loud banging sound is heard, followed by a shrieking sound coming from the girl fills the whole house. Kim Kibum’s body lies lifelessly on the floor, eyes still open with a tint of questioning gaze left in his slowly fading orbs; a tiny bleeding hole on his forehead shows how he dies… and the murderer himself is now dragging his feet outside the house, ignoring the poor girl’s hysterical state.

Lee Jinki stands under the rain, heads up as if he’s challenging the pouring water that soaks his face and the entire body as well. The gun that just killed the other male is hanging loosely in his grip. He finally cries again, tough the hot liquids quickly blend in the cold stream running down his flawless face. It’s done; everything is over once he pulled he trigger, taking back what’s formerly his and forever should be his. The pain is gone, replaced by the sheer happiness mix with some ugly satisfaction fulfilling the slots in his heart. There’s only one bullet left and Jinki has one last thing to do.
“Kibum ah, wait for me… would you?”
That’s the very last words said by Lee Jinki before the young male put the gun on his temple and soon, another loud sound is heard.

April 24th 2010, Lee Jinki is reported committing a suicide after murdering his best friend Kim Kibum with a Glock17 handgun; He finally ends his own misery.

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ENDING #2 – 3rd’s POV

The loud banging sound is heard along with the girl’s screaming… but no one is hurt. The shot doesn’t harm anyone, not Jinki, Kibum nor the girl in his embrace. The hot bullet stuck in the wall behind the beautiful male, almost hitting him in the proces it was fired by Jinki if only Kibum moves just a millimeter away to his right.
The room is silent for a while before the gun slips from Jinki’s grip and hits the ground with a loud thud. The heartbroken male falls to his knees and trembling as the very first sobbing sound escapes his dry throat.
“I’m sorry,” his voice cracks “I… I don’t know what… I…”
“Jinki…” Kibum calls softly. He approaches the pathetic figure and crouches down to meet the other’s wet eyes.
“Ki, Kibum… Kibummie please… please come back to me… I can’t live without you…” Jinki whimpers, fingers clutching Kibum’s orange shirt tightly as he does so. His ex lover just put a sympathetic look and caresses Jinki’s soaking face with his free hand.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t Jinki…” he says still with the gentle voice “Our love was a mistake and we weren’t even supposed to fall for each other. You have to move on and find your own happiness… I’ve find one and it’s just not in us.”
Jinki’s pleading face now darken and changes into a disgustingly ugly expression of rage as he replies Kibum’s stare.
“Our love is NEVER a mistake, NEVER!” he shouts “She is the only mistake between us! That bitch stole your love away from me!! YOU ARE MINE, KIBUM!!”
The girl winces as Jinki shots his savage gaze to her, as if it could devour her in any second.
“Leave her alone, Jinki! Stop putting the blame on someone else because no one is guilty except US! How many times I should ask you to open your god damn eyes and face the reality like a man, huh?! I’m tired to say this but let me tell you one more fucking time: our time is over and I choose her over you, Lee Jinki!” Kibum shouts with all his might, ignoring the stun-faced Jinki in front of him.

Another uncomfortable silence fills the room; only the faint sound rain sings in the background. Kibum takes a deep breath and stands up, towering the mentally-dead male on the floor.
“Please don’t make it hard for me, Jinki. Let me have a new life without you following me around and shadowing me with our past.”
His voice is calmer but for Jinki the words mercilessly have stabbed him alive inside.

“So that’s your final decision…” he whispers and chuckles darkly.
Slowly, he gets up from his previous position without averting his now lifeless gaze to Kibum. The beautiful male gasps silently as Jinki’s warm smile decorates his pale lips. His left hand is lifted to caress Kibum’s white cheek lovingly, just like their old days… for a moment, Kibum finds himself being pull back to their memories and he can’t stop to feel guilty for being such a mean ex to the usually soft and caring man. However, his noltagic state then changes into a horror one when Jinki smirk almost evilly.

“Kim Kibum, listen to me.” Jinki says quietly “You’ll regret today for the rest of your life. After this very faithful day, you’ll be sorry for leaving me and saying those cruel words to me. You’ll be suffering everyday, wishing that what happen today is just a dream. But no, honey. This is just not a dream; it’s a nightmare that will haunt you to death.” he moves closer to Kibum’s ear and whispers,
“I’m your nightmare as you watch me die… right. before. your. eyes.”

Kibum only has a second to digests the last will from Jinki but before he could react, the other male has put the gun that he secretly grabs from the cold floor on his temple and pulls the trigger.
Bloods everywhere.
Lifeless body on the ground.
Loud screeching voice from his girlfriend.
Those are the last things imprinted in Kibum’s mind before the darkness takes over as he faints on his spot.

***

(1 month later)
Jung Nicole patches her tiny hands on the wide glass and watches sadly as she sees his boyfriend lying motionless on the hospital bed. Kim Kibum’s eyes are open, but he’s staring at a certain direction blankly. His hands stretch once in a while as if he’s trying to prevent someone to do whatever Kibum sees in his eyes.
“He hasn’t shows any good improvement and it’s a month already.” the doctor sighs “Miss Jung, I personally recommend a mental hospital as the perfect solution for…”
“He’s not crazy!” Nicole cut sharply “He’s just… shock. He’s just shock, that’s all.”
She glares at the doctor before gulping the lump in her throat hardly and swallow back her tears. She’s looking at the thin figure and the pale face that once glowed with charms; all changed after that faithful day. Lee Jinki really proofs what he had said before he murdered himself; He becomes the nightmare not only for Kibum, but for her as well.

Meanwhile in the secluded white hospital room, Kibum’s has repeatedly whimpering the same name since the day he wakes up from his faint.
“Jin…ki…”

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THE END

this fic could also found in Enma D’mightyhyunsaferism’s FB