“1, 2, 3, 4, urineun 4minute!!” The five girls shout together when they approach us. I guess that’s their greeting.
“Annyeonghaseo, urineun SHINee imnida!!” We greet them back.
After a while chitchat between our managers, we start to discuss about the joint dance next week.
“How about Onew paired with Ji Hyun?” 4minute’s manager suggested. “They’re both leader and warmth person…”
It’s like nightmare comes into reality.
Onew glances at Ji Hyun and smiles shyly. Ji Hyun smiles back.
“…and Taemin with So Hyun?” Manager hyung suggests. “They will be maknae couple.”
“Can’t I be paired with Minho hyung?” Taemin asks.
“No.” Manager hyung answers. So Hyun and the other girls laugh.
“It’s okay Taemin oppa. I know you love Minho oppa so much, I don’t want to interrupt your relationship. It’s just dance.”
“And how about me?” Jonghyun asks.
“Hmm… how about Jonghyun with Ga Yoon, Minho with HyunAh and Key with Ji Yoon?” Manager hyung suggests again. Now I’m sure he doesn’t have mix and match sense. If it’s a fashion, that will be a total disaster. Onew with Ji Hyun? And me with the shades girl??
“Hyung, I think Onew hyung is more matching with….I’m sorry, who’s your name?” I ask the girl with shades.
“Ah, right. I think Onew hyung is better with Ji Yoon-ssi. This girl is full with aegyo, he can match Onew…” My body trembles when I said that. It hurts when you have to pair your beloved with other people. But this is what I can do for now, at least not with Ji Hyun.
“And Ji Hyun?” asked 4minute’s manager.
“I notice that she can dance passionately, therefore she will match with Minho. And Jonghyunah will do well too!”
“So, the left one is me…” Ga Yoon pouts his mouth. “I paired with you, Key sunbae?”
“Yeah, unsatisfied?” I ask her.
“No~ I’m very happy of course. But it means I have to add extra time to practice.”
“Wow, you have great sense of pairing, Key umma!” Taemin praises me. “Look, your hair color and Ga Yoon noona’s almost similar.”
Minho pinches Taemin’s cheek. “Pabo. Minnie is so silly~”
“Okay, so the pairing are Onew-Ji Yoon, Minho-Ji Hyun, Key-Ga Yoon, Jonghyun-Hyunah, and Taemin-So Hyun. Deal everybody?” asked Manager hyung.
Everybody nod their head. Even Onew nods his head, although I can see a disappointed look in his face.
It makes me sad to see him disappointed. I’m sorry Jinki, I have an ego too.
I thought I finally have chance to get closer with her. But suddenly the pairing was changed. It’s not that I hate to be paired with Ji Yoon—it’s just a dance—but can’t a man dream?
“Sunbae, why are you looked so gloomy?” Someone asks me.
I turn my head to the voice’s source. It’s her. Nam Ji Hyun smiles at me.
“Ah, nothing. Just thinking about something. Why are you here?”
“I am going to the practice room. I have to balance my dance with Minho-ssi. Too bad we can’t dance together. Haha…”
“Yeah,” I smiles bitterly. “Too bad…”
“But Ji Yoon is a great dancer too, and she is a nice person. Please be nice to her…”
“Hahaha… I will. I always nice to other people, aren’t I?” I chuckle. “You’re a good leader.”
“Ah, aniyo…” She looked shy. “I’m not really a good leader, I have to learn a lot from Onew sunbae. Hahaha…”
This girl is adorable. Eventhough her personality is different with Eun Mi, I find him very adorable. Is it love?
“Can I have your cellphone number?”
He finally did some action to prevent JinHyun couple to be come true. I noticed there’s jealousy in his tone when he suggested the pairing. Too bad for me, because I was wondering if Onew hyung keep hurting his feeling, maybe he will fall for me.
Sounds like evil?
I am evil. Coz it hurts to see him cry over Onew hyung, while I can’t do anything for him. If only I can take Onew hyung’s place in his heart, that would be great. But of course, I know I can’t.
Maybe I should forget Key and go for a girl. But everytime I flirt with girls, his face always floating in my mind. Do I really have oneitis?
It’s 2am in the morning, and we’re on the way to Cube’s practice room. Why on earth we have to practice at this early morning? And with that girl!! I would rather sleep in my bed than practice together with her.
I noticed earlier that Jinki always glance at her secretly, and so does with her. They make my heart hurts.
“Leader, what are you doing?” Manager hyung asks him. Now that I notice, he’s busy with his phone since an hour ago.
“Err…nothing,” Onew awkwardly answer and put his phone into his pocket.
“Are you texting someone?”
“He lies.” Jonghyun suddenly say. “I know he’s been texting someone since we finished the radio show.”
“Wha-?” Onew looked surprised. “How did you know?”
“See? He is texting someone.” Jonghyun smiles cunningly.
“Is that true, leader?” Manager hyung asks Onew.
“Fine.. Yeah, I’m texting someone. And it’s my mother. Happy?”
“Really? You’re not texting girl?”
“I’m texting a girl and she’s my mom.” He convinces manager hyung.
Hyung stares at his eyes, looking for the truth. “Okay, I believe in you. Just remember, don’t make any scandal.”
“I understand.” Onew nods his head.
“Ne, do you believe he’s texting his mom?” Jonghyun whispers at me.
“Not at all. But I have no proved…” I answer.
Jonghyun smiles wickedly. “Do you know? He always busy with his phone, since that day.”
“The day when we discussed the formation for joint stage with 4minute.”
I feel like I got hit by a hammer on my head. Could it be?
“Don’t tell me… “
“Yup. Probably…” Jonghyun nods his head. “They have exchanged phone number each other.”
“No way.” I deny Jonghyun’s hypothesis. Onew, you don’t give your cellphone number to her, right? Onew, you can’t do this to me right?
We keep texting each other ever since we exchanged phone numbers. She is so cute. She used to tell about the rest of members and their daily schedules. So did with me. I used to tell her about SHINee schedule and interesting moments I experienced that day.
Unfortunately she still call me sunbae and use formal way to talk. I want us to get closer.
Sunbae, today we will practice together for the joint stage. ^_^
Please take a good care of us.
Sender: Ji Hyun, Nam
I smiled when I read her text. Yeah, it will be our first rehearsal together. So even though it’s 2am in the morning, and we had a lot of schedules before, I don’t feel tired at all.
“Leader, what are you doing?” Manager hyung suddenly asked me.
Oh crap! He can’t know I’ve been texting Ji Hyun. Not now, at least. So I made up some excuse, I said I texted my mother.
Hah, it’s impossible for my mom to stay up late just for texting his son. But who cares, as long as manager hyung believed in me, I don’t care if my reason sounds a little bit nonsense.
4:15 am KST
We’ve been practicing together for half an hour. The girls doing great, they can follow our moves quickly.
“That’s it for today. Thanks for your hard work…” Said the manager hyung. “Boys, let’s prepare to go home.”
“Girls, let’s go now. We have schedules tomorrow.” Said the girls’ manager.
“Thanks for your hard work, Ji Yoon-ssi…” I shook the girl-with-shade’s hand. But my eyes can’t get off from her.
“You’re welcome.” Ji Yoon smiled and shook my hand. “Onew sunbae…”
“Stay away from my wife.” Ji Yoon said.
“Just kidding. Hahaha…” She laughed. “But I noticed you stared at our leader.”
“Errr… th-that’s not true.” I quickly denied her words. Crap! How could she notice it?
“Hahaha… just be careful, sunbae. We’re filming this practice for our coming reality show.”
“Oh yeah…” I said with disappointed tone. “I forgot about that.”
“Yah! Onew hyung, what are you doing? Let’s go home!!” Key shouted. He approached me and quickly dragged me away from Ji Yoon.
“See you later sunbaenim.” Ji Yoon bowed to me and Key. “Annyeong.”
“Bye.” Key coldly answered and dragged me away.
“Don’t go near other girls.” He said to me. “Manager hyung won’t like it if we make scandal.”
“Oh…okay. But I just talk to Ji Yoon-ssi. Is that consider as making scandal?”
“Anything you do with girls is scandal.” Key looked angry.
“Hey hey!” I let go of Key’s hand. “Don’t tell me what to do and what’s not.”
Key stared at me angrily. “Fine! Just go and talk with Ji Yoon or Ji Hyun or whoever else! I’ll go home now.” He left me and joined the other members.
What’s wrong with him? He looked like someone who is jealous with his boyfriend.
Could it be…? He has feeling for me?
I left Onew alone. I told him not to get closer to any girls and he scolded me!?!
Ha! He can’t scold me! Nobody can, including him.
I’m angry!! I really am. Because somewhat he defended for the girls. Don’t you know it’s for your own sake?
Okay… I admit that I’m jealous with the girls. He is mine—should be mine, not hers.
“Hey, where’s Onew hyung?” Taemin asks me. “Umma, have you called him?”
“He said he will go back alone by himself. He has to do something.” I made up an excuse.
“Really?” Taemin asks again. “B-but it’s 4 in the morning.”
“I dunno. Don’t ask me, Minnie.” I said. Of course that’s a lie, but I don’t care.
“That boy…” Manager hyung grumbled. “I’ll go search for him. You guys get into the car quickly.”
“Okay. Let’s go kids…” I smirked. “Let manager hyung scold Onew hyung. Let’s wait for him in the car.”
“What’s wrong with you?” Jonghyun asked.
“Nothing.” I said. “I just want him to be scolded.”
“Onew hyung?” He asked again. “Why?”
“Why? You ask me why?” I furiously yelled. Taemin and Minho stared at us, but I didn’t care anymore. Let the world knows my feeling. “I’m jealous! I hate when he’s together with girls! I hate him coz whatever I do, he just think me as a bestfriend.”
“Umma? You really love appa?” Taemin asked.
“Ssshh… Taeminnie, let’s stay out of this problem. Let’s just sleep in the car.” Minho pulled Taemin’s arm and took him inside the car.
“I hate my self…” I cried. “Everytime I see him with her, I turn to be a bad person. Full of jealousy, hatred, and anger.”
“Then just love me.” Jonghyun said. “You won’t be disappointed like this.”
“Eh?” I looked blank.
“I love you. More than he loves you. Kim Ki Bum-ah, saranghamnida…”
What? Jonghyun loves me?!?! That can’t be true…
“You’re kidding me…” I said.
“No, I’m serious. Forget him, Key. Actually I don’t want to reveal my feeling, but seeing you have been hurt repeatedly by him, I can’t stand it anymore. Be with me, Key, I’ll make you happy…” He convinced me.
“I’m sorry, but I guess I can’t.” I drop a tear. “It’s unfair for you if we get together. I can’t forget him…”
“Alright, I understand. But please think about it again.” Jonghyun smiled weakly. He put his hand on my shoulder. “Let’s get inside the car.”
I got rid of his hand. “I’m sorry, but I need time to reorganize my feeling. Please stay away from me for awhile.”
He looked surprised by my words. And looked apologetic.
I’m so sorry Jonghyun, but how can I love you when this love tortured me?
SHINee’s dorm. 6 am KST.
We just get back home. And everyone is sgoing to sleep now. I still don’t talk to Jonghyun, so he just nods his head and go to sleep. I don’t talk to Onew either, so I pretend not to care about him.
And I’m scared he’s mad at me too because manager hyung scolded him along our way back home.
“Ah! I left my bag in the practice room!” He suddenly shouts.
“We can take it back later. Now you have to sleep…” I said. Hey why do I talk with him? He even don’t apologized to me yet!
“No I have to get it back now. There’re a lot of valuable things inside it. I’m going back there, please don’t tell manager hyung.”
“Wait…” I hold his hand. “I’ll go with you.”
Cube Entertainment Practice Room. 7am KST.
“I thought you’re mad at me.” I said to Key.
“I am. But I can’t let you go alone.” He says. “I’m sorry for my childish behavior. I just a little bit…” He sighs. “…jealous.”
I freeze for a second when I hear that. “Jealous?”
“Yeah, because I.. I…”
“Are you jealous because you’re scared we’re not going to be best friend anymore?” I ask him.
He looked puzzled. “Eh?”
“You scared if we won’t have enough time to hang out together again, aren’t you?”
“Err… yeah. That’s what I mean.” He laughs awkwardly and punches my shoulder slightly. “I don’t want our friendship break.”
“Hahaha…” I mess his hair. “Don’t worry, you will still be my bestfriend.”
Fuhh… so my feeling is wrong. He just jealous because I’m his bestfriend, not that he loves me.
I open the practice room’s door and find someone is inside.
“Ah, sunbae. Annyeong…” She bows and waves at us. “Why are you here?”
“I left my bag earlier. So I come to pick it. And how about you? Why are you here in this early morning?”
“Ah, I’m practicing Juliette dance.” She smiled.
“Jinki, I’ll wait outside. Don’t chat too long or manager hyung will scold us.” Key said with cold expression and left the room. He gives me time to chat with Ji Hyun? But he was angry with me before! Sometimes I don’t understand him.
“Is this your bag?” Ji Hyun hand me a bag.
“Ah, that’s right. Thanks a lot Ji Hyun!”
“Your welcome, sunbae…” She smiles. Her face looked bright. We finished practiced at 4am and now she’s practicing again? She’s awesome. She’s just like Eun Mi.
Cheerful and bright.
And the next thing I know, I kiss her lips.
I decide to leave them alone. I hate myself when I hate Ji Hyun because of this jealousy. So rather than hurt my heart again and again, I prefer not to watch them together.
I leave the door a little bit open, so I can peek on them.
I see Onew and Ji Hyun stand real close. Onew stares at Ji Hyun’s face.
“Ji Hyun-ssi…” He gazes upon her eyes. His hand slowly caresses her hair and he moves his face closer to her. Closer and closer…
And he kisses her lips slightly.
“S-s-Sunbae?” She looked startled.
He kissed her!! That’s it. I can’t stand it anymore.
How am I supposed to do? My heart breaks into pieces. These tears are unbearable. My tears keep flowing while I run astray from them.
“Jinki… saranghae. Saranghae. Saranghae. Why can’t I say that to you?” I keep mumbling while tears flow on my cheeks. “Why do I love you? All you have done is hurt me over and over again…”
I stare at my photo with him in my cell phone. He really thinks I’m his best friend, not more, isn’t him?
Okay,enough of him. I don’t want being fooled by him anymore. I press the speed dial in my phone. Jonghyun’s number.
“Yoboseo?” Jonghyun picks up the phone.
“Yoboseo? Key?? Are you okay?”
“Key, are you alright? Why I can’t hear your voice?”
“Jonghyun…” I finally open my mouth.
“Ah, finally you talk to me again. I thought you’re still mad at me. Look, I’m so sorry about my previous words. Just forget it okay?”
“I call you not to talk about it.” I said. “Jonghyun…”
“Jonghyun…” I take a deep breath. “Let’s date.”
“Date. I think you’re right. Maybe I could forget him if I date you…”
“….are you serious? Don’t push yourself, Key. I know you love him deeply.”
“No, I’m serious. I decide to forget about him. He hurts me too many times.”
“Does it mean I have a chance to make you fall for me?” Jonghyun asks.
“Only if you can come here in 10 minutes.”
“Where are you now?”
“If you really love me, you will know where I am.” I said.
“Wait….” He remains silent for a second. “Okay, I’ll go to your place in 5 minutes. Wait for me, my love…”
He hung up the phone.
I put back my phone into my jacket. Is this the right choice?
“Kim Ki Bum…” A familiar voice calls me from behind. I turn my back. Jonghyun stands in front of me. His body all wet by the rain outside the building.
“How did you find me?” I ask.
“Feeling. Actually I can’t get any clue, so I depend on my feeling.” Jonghyun run out of breath. “So the first place I think is this place.”
“You run from our dorm?”
“Yeah. Hahaha…” He laughs awkwardly. “I run without thinking. I even forget to bring umbrella.”
Ah, Jonghyun, if only you are him… You always sacrifice yourself for me. Why do I love him, not you?
I drop my tears again.
“Key? Are you alright?” He looked surprised to see me crying. Then he embraces me tightly. “Why are you crying, dear?”
“Nothing…” I answer. “I just realized that you always thinking about me first than yourself.”
Jonghyun smiles and peck my forehead. “That’s because I love you so much.”
“Thanks. You’re so kind to me…” I try to smile back.
He caresses my cheek tenderly and looks deep into my eyes. “Key…”
He kisses my lips tender and sweet. It makes me jolt a little coz actually I’m not ready for a kiss.
I break the kiss. “Jonghyun!”
“I’m sorry. But I just want to tell you, I love you. No matter what. And I promise I’ll never make you sad.”
“Jonghyun…” I kiss his lips slowly. Weird, I don’t feel nasty when I kiss him. “Please, help me forget that stupid man.”
He smiles widely. “I will. And I will make you fall for me.”
He kisses my lips again. Tender at the beginning, but when I reply his kiss, our kiss become more passionate.
He embraces me firmly while kissing. And he caresses my hair slowly.
I close my eyes. My tears keep flowing again. I hope for a new beginning with Jonghyun.
And I hope I can forget him.
-to be continued-