title: Onew-itis [2/8]
author: fetishoney (ichijo_rui on Livejournal)
pairing: OnKey/JongKey/Onew-Jihyun/Onew-Fictional Character
A/N: maybe you’ll be confused because it’s half yaoi and half straight but just try to enjoy it ok! ^^
City park. 09 am. June 2004.
“Jinki, look at this!!” Eun Mi cheerfully called for Jinki. She ran towards him while bring a dandelion. Her cheeks blushed pink like usual, and as she smiled and shown her pearl white teeth, Jinki felt his heart beat faster.
Jinki closed his sketch book and stared at his bestfriend’s face.
“Don’t run,” Jinki said. He’s trying to calm down his heart. “And don’t call me just by my name. You’re younger than me.”
“Why can’t I? I used to call you Jinki for years. And I’m younger than you for 10 months only.”
“10 months is long enough for you to call me oppa..”
Jinki rolled his eyes. “So?”
Eun Mi pouted her lips seeing Jinki’s reaction. “So? It’s beautiful…”
“I thought you want to say something more important than this.” Onew messed with Eun Mi’s hair. “Go play alone.”
“You always like this nowadays!!” Eun Mi complained. “We don’t really have time to chat.”
Jinki patted his best friend’s hair tenderly. “You know I’m trying to pursue my dream now.”
“Yeah, but….” Eun Mi played the dandelion with her finger. “…I felt lonely.”
Jinki felt his heart ache. He loves his best friend so much. They grew up together for 12 years. She is like his own sister. But why this feeling?
“I’m sorry for being such a baby,” Eun Mi tried to laugh it up. “I know you’ve been dreaming to be an entertainer. I’ll keep support you, don’t worry.”
Jinki smiled weakly. “Thanks.”
“Ne, Jinki, when you’re famous, will you forget me?”
Jinki shook his head. “I won’t.”
“Haha. Really? I don’t believe you.”
“Why? I think we trust each other.”
“No reason. Just my feeling said like that.”
Eun Mi looked puzzled, being embraced by Jinki all of sudden. “J-Jinki…”
“Don’t ever say that again, okay?” Jinki gazed deep into Eun Mi’s dark brown eyes.
Eun Mi nodded her head. She ceded the dandelion to Jinki. “Be like this flower. Strong, independent, yet beautiful. Entertainment world is though…”
Eun Mi blushed. “Me?”
“And my family also…” Jinki quickly added. He’s afraid she will recognize his feeling.
“Oh…” Eun Mi looked a bit disappointed. “Anyway, we should go back soon. We didn’t ask for your father’s permission when we went to this park, did we?”
“No, but I told umma already. It’s kinda boring to mind the store everyday.”
Eun Mi laughed. “That’s the risk for being a butcher’s son. But I love to help your family.”
“Let’s go home. Or do you want to stay here a bit longer?” Jinki asked.
“Let’s sit together for awhile. You can finish your painting first, I don’t mind. Just let me sit next to you.” Eun Mi leaned her head onto Jinki’s shoulder.
*end of flashback*
How I missed my beloved best friend so much. But I know that I can’t stay like this forever.
I wonder who could fill this emptiness….
And suddenly both Key and Ji Hyun’s face imagined in my mind.
Is it Key? Or Ji Hyun?
I remember when I first met him. He was so cheerful. And looked determined to be a singer. We didn’t need much time to be friends. He’s so fun to talk with, and his funny attitude always make us laughed.
It wasn’t love at first sight. At first I only thought him as a friend.
It was in the windy November day, when I found him cried in silence. He sat on the bench on the city park, near our training center. He hold a picture and kept muttering about something.
I was behind the tree, looking at him in pain.
Why did he cry?
I wanted to comfort him, because seeing him cried made me want to cry too.
But I was too afraid to approach him, yet I couldn’t continue my way to the clothes store. So I stood still behind the tree and kept watching him.
“….mianhae Eun Mi….” he muttered. “this is all my fault. I’m sorry I made you die.”
Jinki made someone die?
“…mianhae Eun Mi…” he muttered again. His tears drops onto the picture he held so firm. “How could we parted when I haven’t apologized to you yet? How could we fight on our last day together?”
He must be lost his beloved one right now. And without my knowledge, my feet walked towards him. And there, I stood in front of him.
He pointed upward of his head. He didn’t say anything to me, his tears keep flowing like a river.
“Cry as much as you like.” I said to him. “I’ll stand by you.”
He kept crying in silence while looking upon the picture. He ignored my presence, but I’m fine with it. I knew it’s a bit embarrassing for boy to shed a tear.
I glared at the picture he held. It was a picture of him and a girl. She looked cheerful, cute and pretty. Her black silky hair was cut above shoulder. And her rosy pink cheek made her looked pretty adorable. She made a peace sign with both of her hands and laughed in that picture, while Jinki held her waist and kissed her hair. I could see the happiness inside their eyes. She must be someone precious to him.
“She is my bestfriend.” He suddenly start to talk. And stop crying. “And used to be my lover.”
I remained silent. I’m afraid my words will only make things became worse.
“…I grew up with her. She’s like my family, like my own sister. She is part of my life. I love her so much.” He continued his talk without being care to be listened or not. But of course, I listened to his story.
“She always support me when I said I want to be a singer. When my parents disagree with me, she’s the one who persuaded them. She said she always pray for me every night.”
“She often gave me flowers she picked by herself. And she loved to give me dandelion. She always said I looked similar to that flower. Puffy, strong, independent, beautiful, and always shares love to everyone else.”
“Because dandelion dispersed its seed like snowball?” I dared myself to ask.
Jinki nodded his head. “What she didn’t know was I could become like dandelion, because of her. She was my clover.” He showed me a dried four-leaved clover that has been pressed and laminated into a book divider. “She gave me this stupid clover when I went to audition. She spent 5 hours looking for this clover just to wish me luck.”
“It means she cared about you so much.” I smiled weakly.
“I know. But that hurts me so much. She cared for me so much. She was my fortune, my stanchion…” He gasped. “…my sun and my air.”
I stared at his face. He didn’t cry anymore, but it is worse than when he cried. His eyes gave forth a dreadful and hopeless look.
“We started to date a month before I passed my audition.” He continued his talk. “I thought we will be alright when we finally be lovers. But…”
“Since our training starts, I didn’t really have time to meet her. She became overanxious and got easy to jealous. And yesterday, we fought and broke up.”
“She’s mad at me because I couldn’t celebrate our one month anniversary. And I yelled at her, I told her to go home.” Jinki closed his eyes and carried the wind. “I could see her tears going to drip in her eyes. Yet I didn’t care about it and kept practicing.”
I touched his shoulder. I couldn’t stand to hear his story. I wanted to hug him and protect him. I wanted to be that girl’s substitute in his heart.
“Now I regret my act yesterday. She’s got hit by a car in her way home.” His tears raced along his chubby cheeks. “….and now she leave me forever.”
I hugged him and put his head in my shoulder. He cried in silence on my shoulder. And that made me think, I really want to make him smiled again.
It’s 8 am in the morning and now we’re having breakfast.
Key eats his breakfast in silence, while Onew hyung seems to lost in his own world. Taemin and Minho feed each other, they makes me feel sick.
“Hwaaa…. umma!! Minho hyung pinched my cheek…” Taemin tells Key with spoiled tone.
“Taeminnie, eat your breakfast quickly. Minho, stop teasing him.” Key said.
“Why should I? It’s fun to tease him.” Minho pinches Taemin’s cheek again.
“Stop it!! Both of you! We have schedules!! Hyung, do something!!” Key shouted at Onew.
“Hm? Yeah, he’s right. Speed up your pace, manager hyung will come in 10 minutes. We have to go to fansite.”
Taemin nods his head although he pouts his mouth. He eats his breakfast quickly. While Minho plays with Taemin’s perm hair. He’s done with his breakfast.
And I, Jonghyun, decides to help Key with the dish.
“Bad mood?” I asked Key.
“Maybe.” He answered. “I just feeling lonely and sad all of sudden.”
“How’s yesterday? Did you make up with Onew hyung?”
“Yeah.” He concentrate on washing dishes.
“Then why you seem to avoid him?”
“You didn’t look into his eyes when you talked to him.” I said. “You avoid his eyes.”
Key looked confused. “It just…ehm, forget it. Let me be the one who know it.” He finishes the dish and go. “Make sure everyone get ready in 5 minutes. Hyung, is everything alright?” He asks Onew. He cares so much about Onew that he can’t leave him keep in silence.
Always Onew. And never be me.
“Hm? I’m alright.” Onew answered. He doesn’t look at Key’s eyes either.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Just thinking about something. I’ll go get my bag.” Onew walks to the room. Key follows him.
Okay, enough. I don’t want to know what will happen next. It quite much hurts me when I see him together with Onew. Sometime I even wished that Key’s love is unrequited.
Yeah, I know I’m such a bad guy.
I go to the room to get my bag when he suddenly come after me.
“What happened?” Key asks me.
“Nothing happened.” I answer him. I don’t know why, but his face, Eun Mi’s face, and Ji Hyun’s face appear in my mind often this morning.
“Then why it hurts in here?” He points at his chest. “I always feel so sad out of sudden when you have something on your mind.”
“You did?” I ask him.
He nods. “Yeah. I can feel your sadness. We have mind boundaries…”
I smile and pat his head. “Don’t be sad because of me. It will waste your time. I don’t worth your sadness.”
“It just happened naturally.” He said. “Coz I care so much about you…”
“Thanks. You’re really my bestfriend.” I messed his hair. “I am not sad. But last night, I have a dream. About my memories with her.”
“Wanna talk about her?” he offers.
“No. Now we should get going. Manager hyung must have waited for us downstair.”
I grab my bag and walk outside the apartment, followed by the rest.
Eun Mi. Ji Hyun. To be honest, they don’t look very similar. But there is something in Ji Hyun that reminds me of Eun Mi. And Key, he’s such a great friend. He’s like Eun Mi’s substitute as my best friend. But of course I can’t fall in love with him, right?
There is something more. I just know it.
During the fansign, he plunged in thought a lot. He smiled at fans but his eyes looked…. empty. His view is empty.
And this ache in my heart just won’t stop. Is dreaming about her hurts him so bad? Or there is something else that he hides?
“You looked uncomfortable.” Jonghyun says during our break time.
“Jonghyun, don’t you think there’s something different from Onew?” I ask him.
He glances at Onew. “Nope. He remains the same like usual.”
“Seriously? Don’t you think he’s a bit gloomy?”
“Nope. Don’t you see? He’s smiling.”
“Listen Key,” Jong hyun looks deep into my eyes. “Stop worrying much about him okay? Maybe you are over exaggerating about him.”
“Maybe. Or maybe my feeling is right. I love him, that’s why I worried much about him.”
“And I love you, that’s why I don’t want you to worry about him too much. It’s not good for you either.”
“Eh?” I looked puzzled. What did he say just now?
“Forget it. Just don’t worry too much. He’s a man, you know. He can takes care his own problems.” Jonghyun leave me and back to the fansign table.
Am I mistaken? Jonghyun, loves me?
Jong hyun pov
What was I thinking? Those words just slipped out from my mouth when he told me he worried about Onew hyung so much. Maybe I felt jealous, or simply just bored with his talking about Onew.
Whatever the reason is, I shouldn’t have told him that I love him. It will make him confused.
And now, he’s avoiding me. He talks to Taemin and Minho often during this fansign. To Onew hyung sometimes. But not to me.
“Thanks for your hard work.” Manager hyung said after the fansign event is over. “Let’s go to the next place.”
“Where?” Minho asks.
“MBC’s Music Core. You have to practice for next week performance.”
“But we usually practice it on the day before performance, right?” Taemin asks. “And we also practice Juliette’s dance moves everyday too.”
“Yeah. But you get to do joint stage. That’s why you have to practice to synchronize with other band.”
“We get joint stage?” I ask. “With whom?”
“4minute girls.” Manager hyung said.
Onew’s eyes get widener. “Did you say 4minute just now?”
“We get paired?” Key asks in confusion.
“Just for the dance. They will join your dance in the last part.”
“With whom I’ll get paired?” Onew asks.
“Let’s discuss about it later with the girls. Now let’s go.”
I can see Onew’s expression. He looked a bit cheerful than before. And I can see Key’s expression. Anxious. And he becomes gloomy. He might worry about the probability of Onew getting paired with Ji Hyun.
And as for myself indeed, I can’t wait for what will happen next.
to be continued.